Game of Life: How Gamification is Helping Me Keep Depression at Bay
Written by GeekGirlCon Copywriter Winter Downs.
I’ve had a really rough year. Last August, I was laid off by the company I’d worked for for nearly eight years; by December I was in the deepest period of depression I’ve ever experienced; and in January I was diagnosed with breast cancer.
Image source: Gifs & Such
My chemo treatments ended in May, and I’m now (as far as they can tell) cancer-free, but what people don’t tell you about having cancer is that after treatment is over, it’s really hard to get back into the swing of “normal life.” For one thing, you’re not the same person you were before the diagnosis. You might have body issues you never used to have, or the things you cared about before might seem small in comparison to what you just went through. You might drift apart from friends and become very isolated. In my case, a big part of my normal life–the comfy game writing job I’d had for years–no longer existed.
Depression after cancer is a thing, and more people are beginning to write about their experiences with it, such as this heartbreaking article by Lauren Szcudlo for Gawker. (Content note: frank discussion of depression, and NSFW language.)
I’ve struggled with depression throughout my life, and I knew that if I did nothing I’d end up in a deeper hole than ever.
There’s a list of things I know I can do to make myself feel like I’ve accomplished something, to make myself feel better both physically and mentally: the physical therapy exercises I started after surgery; remembering to take my meds every day; going to bed at a reasonable hour; working on my personal writing projects; volunteering for something I feel passionate about (GeekGirlCon). The problem is, in the throes of depression, these things feel like an impossible chore.
Enter the gamification app!
Gamification is a concept currently gaining a lot of ground in game design and marketing, in which game-like rules and rewards are attached to real-world tasks. This video by Extra Credits sums up the theory and benefits, along with some common criticisms that it can be used exploitatively by businesses to get customers to spend more money:
When I decided to use an app to help me keep track of tasks, and reward myself for completing them, my main concerns were more psychological. Would giving myself external rewards reduce the intrinsic appeal of the task, especially for things that I do find inherently rewarding once I buckle down to doing them, like writing? Even getting paid to do something I love (writing) did reduce my enjoyment of it in my spare time.
Another concern was my tendency to get fixated on a game–not all the way to addiction or compulsion, but still something to watch out for. Would I end up burning out on the good habits because I spent all my time pushing for more and more XP and never let myself claim any real-life rewards?
With these things in mind, I started using HabitRPG. Tasks are broken down into Dailies (things you need to do every day, or on certain days of the week), To-Dos (a list of one-off tasks), and Habits (things you want to get into the habit of doing, or avoiding, repeatedly). Completing a task grants a reward of XP and gold, and as your character levels up, you gain access to the equipment store, classes, pets, and mounts. Join a party to do joint quests for extra rewards, or if competition is a motivator, accept challenges to see if you can keep up with other players.
Here’s a snapshot of my life right now:
Image source: HabitRPG
I know I tend to be motivated by reward and discouraged by punishment, so I use more positive habits (which give XP and gold) than negative ones (which dock hit points), or at the very least pair negative ones with positive (I get points for going for a walk, but lose them if I drive when I could have walked). I also didn’t put a time limit on my “Play Guild Wars 2” reward, because I want it to feel OK to use my rewards instead of hoarding gold forever. Of course, I can change that at any time if it’s not working out and I find myself spending way too much time playing. And yes, I am aware of the irony of rewarding myself by playing a game that works in basically the same way. What can I say? When I like something, I like something.
Since one of the ways my depression manifests itself is self-criticism out of proportion to the thing I did “wrong,” I was careful to leave some things value-neutral, especially things I use to cope with the boredom of depression and unemployment. For instance, I don’t count reading fanfic toward my daily hour of reading, but neither do I have to spend gold to do it. The only punishment for spending hours on Tumblr is that I haven’t spent that time doing things that earn me XP.
How’s it working out for me?
Well, as you can see from the screenshot, I’m on a 33-day streak of exercising every day, something that I have never done before in my entire life. I feel stronger and more flexible than I did when I started. I’ve written two short stories and made some headway on my novel. And I like to think my GeekGirlCon manager is happy that I’m pulling my weight on the copy team!
You can also see that I have a totes dorbs pet dragon. (That’s me in the top left; the others are my party members.)
With a bit of self-awareness I’ve so far managed to sidestep the potential pitfalls. I’ve avoided the depression cycle of attempting to DO ALL THE THINGS! and then berating myself when I fail to live up to the impossible goals I’ve set. If I stay up until 3 reading about Captain America’s teenage years and have to ding myself some hit points, I’m still making overall progress on the project of Life.
Hint: It’s a trap.
Image source: The Daily Pennsylvanian
I’d definitely recommend HabitRPG, as long as you’re kind to yourself in setting goals and rewards, and as long as you go into it with some awareness of your own psychological traps.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to check off “GeekGirlCon work” from my daily list, and settle down for an episode of Legend of Korra.
